i'm a mom and i like to rock

So anyone who knows me knows that as lame as it may be, I'm not much one for movies. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the art and all and realize I'm probably missing out on a ton of cool shit I just have a horrible tendency to fall asleep almost every time I try to watch one. Before my I had my daughter, I probably hadn't been to the theatre in 3 or so years and even with her we've only seen Shrek & Rapunzel.

I did however stumble across a film I can't wait to see (and stay awake in!). The film is called The Other F-Word and debuted at this years SXSW, its set to release this fall. It's a rock-u-mentary (sorry couldn't resist! [also for those who know me, know I have an insatiable thirst for puns]) about punk rockers turned fathers, and balancing those two very different worlds. It was inspired by the book Punk Rock Dad by Jim Lindburg of Pennywise and while I’ve never been a huge fan if his it’s a super cute & quick read. The main premise of it is how does one go from saying “fuck authority” to being the authority when they become a parent.

Why am I so excited about this film? Well, it seems it's pretty much made for me. While Little Sass has become the number one passion in my life, for many years before her punk rock was my main passion. It's just one of those things I stumbled upon around age 12 and haven't been able to shake ever since. Most of my friends have outgrown it, or it least don't obsess over things like Alkaline Trio re-recording old tunes for a 15th anniversary release. Most don't even bother going to shows anymore or get excited about seeing NOFX for the 20th time or the fact that they've seen them in 4 different states. Most of them don't get giddy when they get mentioned by a favorite rock idol on twitter, hell, I think any of them even have a twitter account (btw El Hefe totally digs my Ben Weasel jokes!). I however love this stuff.

I know it's odd and probably says something about me that I'm the only one who still cares about this shit. I don't really care what those other people think cause it makes me happy and the internet makes it so easy to keep up with. I love that can look forward to a film about 2 of my favorite things; being a parent and punk rock music. I'm not saying that I have anything in common with those featured in this film, I've never been in a band and can't even play an instrument, but I can definitely relate to needing to find new grounding and where you belong once a child comes into your life.

For me the first year of motherhood was a total Zoolander "Who am I?" moment. I no longer really fit in with my friends I shared common interests with because no one else had kids. I no longer was going to Casey Moore's twice a week or even staying up past 10 o clock (which I was & still am completely fine with). I found myself trying to forge friendships with other mothers I had nothing in common with except for the fact that we both pushed out kids out of our crotches. Not that there was anything wrong with these other moms, it's just I could never really be myself around them and everything just felt so forced. I guess I was just trying to do what I felt a parent was "supposed" to be. Luckily, I eventually found myself again and realized I was sick of trying to be something I wasn't. I realized that I am supposed to be Little Sass' mom but I'm also still supposed to be me. I think a confident and happy mom will raise a confident and happy daughter.

I still often wonder how I will handle certain situations as Little Sass grows up coming from the background I do. Like when she asks about Christmas for example. "Well honey, there are a lot of people out there that believe in a magical man named Jesus who walked on water, turned water to wine, and rose from the dead. They celebrate his birthday because his mom got knocked up without even having sex by another made up magical entity named God. These people are illogical fairy tale believers and in our house we believe in science and empirical evidence". Well sure that works for me but when she repeats that to her friends and they repeat it to their parents, her playdates will likely come to a screeching halt. I don't want to do that to her but I also won't lie to her for the sake of conformity and harmonic playdates.

I intend to raise her in a truthful fashion and not lie to her to save myself a difficult conversation. I will never push my beliefs on her but will encourage her to seek out her own. I realize this sometimes may be difficult to do especially being the opinionated and overly verbose woman I am (and I will likely only get worse with age). If she wants to become a mormon, I can’t say I’d be thrilled but hey it could be worse (will tea partiers still be around in 15 years?). I guess a lot of my anxieties about me being her parent instead of some cookie cutter baby maker lady may never even prove to be problematic. Maybe I’m putting myself on some pedestal by thinking I’m any different than any other parent out there. Only time will tell I guess. At the end of the day I’m just a mom who loves and wishes the very best for her child, and who happens to like really loud and fast power chords.

punks in vegas!

So I survived my second Punk Rock Bowling and lived to blog the tale!

For anyone not privy to Punk Rock Bowling, it's basically a Las Vegas punk rock convention dedicated to bowling, bands, and lots of booze. It's basically one weekend out of the year where everyone you'd be friends with if you lived in the same place heads out to Vegas to tear shit up. I like to think of it as punk rock Disneyland, the happiest place on earth.

It's a place where if you're single you can get laid every night (the ratio being far in favor for the single ladies) as long as you don't mind seeing the person with someone else the very next day. It's a place where coupled folk like myself can have just as much sex (with far less chance of disease & "oh fuck" pregnancies) and remember how you first fell in love at a punk show and are happy to still be going to them 10 years later. It's a place where if you're a sexless loner in your hometown because you don't fit in, you could probably still get laid by another loner just like you. It's a place where the line between celebrity and fan becomes blurred  and you can play poker with Fat Mike, ride an elevator with Milo, or sit next to Joey Cape at dinner. It's a place with a sense of community though where if you lose your friends you don't even worry cause you know you'll meet new ones as soon as you head to the bar for your next drink. It's a place where if you lose a bet to your friend you can pop in the lobby pagoda and get their name tattooed on your ass with the whole hotel watches. It's a place where all the concerns and responsibilties of the real world go away for a couple days and you can still be the 16 year old punk rock chick you'll always be at heart (but with more money & legal drinking). It's basically amazing and I wish it lasted longer.

While it's fresh in my Vegas fogged mind, I thought it'd be fun to highlight the weekend. This way when I'm older and can't remember how much fun I had, I can re-live it and my daughter can use it against me when she's older and ready to make her own pilgrimage to sin city. I can't promise to recount all the details, but
I'll sure try my damndest.

Day One:

We hit the road on Friday morning and arrived at Sams Town about 5 o'clock (perfect right?!?). We checked in, iced the beers we picked up at the gas station, and headed down to the atrium bar for some fun. It didn't take long to meet up with lasts years PRB friends and meet some new ones. Somehow we managed to force ourselves to grab some dinner before splitting up some the the tables, some the bar (again), and one the tattoo stand.  Later that evening we hopped the shuttle to club show where all I remember actually seeing was Chip Hanna. I know the Cobra Skulls, Swinging Utters, and Cadillac Tramps also played but I was three shakes to the wind at that point and busy meeting my tattoo twins (well, technically quadruplets). Skiba himself supposedly inked the right two... RAD!

Somehow after all of this we arrived safely to our room next door to Talli a.k.a. "She's Nubs", and hit the (clean) sheets... Sorry I can't resist a good pun & since The Descendents headlined so I just had to go there...

Day Two:

We awoke hungover and ready to bowl! After getting there early to grab shoes that fit, a ball I could actually carry, and a couple bloody mary's me and my fellow Smooch Butchers were ready. Our shirts turned out great, we had super nice bowling neighbors ( Team AA Bowl Shit), and punk music began to flood the lanes. I can't tell you what we scored but I can say I bowled better then last year and we still didn't rank. We of course celebrated our lack of accomplishment meeating a bunch of Fat Wreck Chords icons and drinking more. After said drinks we decided to commemorate the event with some PRB ink where I got a bloody cleaver in tribute to my beloved bowling team, The Smooch Butchers!

(my new & improved thigh)

We spent the rest of the day at the atrium bar where I stayed until I could no longer handle any drunken drama or conversations. I went back to room early and alone but content with my new souvenir ink and a fun day behind me.

Day Three (The BIG One):

Sunday morning I awoke feeling good. We hashed out the previous nights drama, grabbed some much needed food, and rounded up the troops for what would become one of the most epic days of my life. We headed to the music fest early, staked some prime bleacher real estate, then hit up the merch stands for a Paper Doll dress for Little Sass and some much needed hoodies as it was freezing out. 

The first band was Larry And His Flask, a band dubbed "appalachian punk" and an energetic joy to watch & hear. The seriously rocks & I highly recommend you check them out when their first album hits in June (label unknown) or on this summers Warped Tour.

Those bearded punks were followed by the amazing and vastly underrated American Steel. They were amazing and hence the "vastly underrated" we got to watch them up close and personal. Their set was excellent and their lyrics very therapeutic given the previous days drama (sometimes you just gotta listen to the words and it all comes together). After Steel's set, The Undertones & Black Pacific played. I wasn't too into them which allowed me to get to more sitting time in before the big guns came out. 

Next up was Bouncing Souls which are always entertaining but not at their best that night in my opinion. A highlight was Shawn Sterns birthday shout out and "Quick Check Girl" by his request. Also, they covered The Misfits's "Legacy of Brutality" acoustically with Greg on guitar which was pretty fantastic. 

Then it was time for Me First and The Gimme Gimmes to take stage. They appeared in their trademark baby blue tuxes and ready to go. I was ready to go too! Anyone that has ever seen me see the Gimmes knows I hold nothing back and couldn't even if I tried. They opened with Elton John's "Rocket Man" and from there is was a non-stop singing, jumping, crying, spinning, screaming, dance fest until they left the stage. They were amazing as always. If could could spend the rest of my life with the Gimmes playing in my head I don't think I'd ever have another bad day.

Finally, the moment we had traveled and waited for: the few, the proud, The Descendents! Words cannot even do justice to the set they played. It was 16 years of listening pleasure rolled up into one flawless performance. I'd never seen a crowd so enamored by a band and justly so, they sound ten times better live than on records. I saw people dancing, I saw people crying. I even heard someone got engaged. It was probably the best show I've ever been to and I feel lucky to have seen it. They played just about everything I wanted to hear and even included some unexpected favorites. It was amazing!

Who could ever follow a Descendents show in a club right? Well, Old Man Markley can! I first saw these guys at last years Punk Rock Bowling and they are the happiest little blue grass punk band you ever did see. They do an amazing cover of Screeching Weasel's "Science of Myth" (yeah yeah  Ben hits girls...) which is my favorite song of theirs. I met a few of them after the show and they were as nice as can be.

Then we went back to the hotel, put it all on black, and made back all the money we spent that day!

So that pretty much sums up PRB 2011, leaving is always so sad as I wish I could stay in that world forever like a real life Maddersville. But the fact that it only happens once a year is what makes it so special, until 2012 I await with baited breathe...