phlegm in the lung, codeine on the brain

So I'm sitting here quarantined in my bedroom as my husband and daughter have fun time downstairs. It is quiet and it is boring and it's lonely and I hate it. Why quarantined you ask? Cause I go big. Just a normal sinus infection won't do for me, I have to throw in some bronchitis and feverish chills as well. I like to think of my current state as the jazz hands of sickness, minus the sequined gloves.

 I can't remember the last time I felt so shitty. Seriously, I have even cried a few times for no apparent good reason other than that I'm a miserable, pitiful, mess. And then there's the fact that my husband does not bode well with a sick wife. What's worse then 5 minute coughing jags and perpetual snot nose? 5 minute coughing jags and perpetual snot nose with no one around to tell you how sorry they feel for you. I'm not sure if it's the discomfort of seeing me so vulnerable, or the fear of germs but this is what happens. Every time. And it sucks.

I get quarantined as to not be around my daughter. Contagious shmagious. And don't go off huffing about how I'm a bad mom and shouldn't want to expose my daughter to my muck, cause I don't. My point is that this 24 hour incubation period kills me, and gets me to thinking; do I need her or does she need me more?

She is like my little symbiotic parasite. Now before you write me off forever, understand that I mean this in the most loving and endearing way possible. Lets looks at the facts. She depends on me for food, habitat, protection, and pretty much could not survive without me, she's only 3 for god's sake. And she is usually attached to my hip. No really, I can't even shower or poop anymore in solitude. And this is my point... I don't even mind. We are the poster child of symbiosis, a mutually beneficial relationship even if parasitic in nature.

Really, my life would suck without her. What did I do before? Who did a shop and sing songs with? Where did I get my hug fix? Whose hair did I braid? I need that girl to feel sane. She completes me. And I know I sound like every other stupid parent out there but really it's true. I too was once the all selfish, boozing and other recreations until the wee hours of the night, party girl. I know what I am missing, and really I couldn't care less. Now hurry up and kick in antibiotics, I wanna play barbies.